Sales Trainer

Letting Others have Your Way

Understanding what triggers automatic decision-making guarantees success in selling and managing.

By Robert J. Laser

A newly hatched goose scurries toward whatever first comes close. This attraction to motion has genetically evolved over thousands of years. Humans too have legacies from ancestors - hair color, bone structure, height, weight, creativity, personality, etc.

But besides genetic programming, childhood experience dictates who we are, what we do, and how we think. A teenage girl once asked her mother why she always cut the shank from a ham before cooking it. Mother replied it simply had to be readied this way. The daughter persisted until finally her another admitted she had no reason, other than she learned to do so from her mother. When the determined teenager asked grandmother, the answer was, "So it would fit in my pan."

Fixed behavioral programs woven from genes, early experience, or a mix of both automatically pull motorists to the side when sirens wail; urge pedestrians to wait until lights change before crossing intersections; tell us to be watchful in certain neighborhoods; to be careful with fire; and solemn during religious services. Knowing how these silent, largely unheeded devices operate not only tells us more about ourselves, but also about everyone else. It this an advantage in dealing with employees, customers, and suppliers? You bet it is. Imagine: understanding and being able to influence the forces that cause people to take action without conscious thought.

Eight Automatic Mechanisms

1. Reciprocity. Eons ago, cave-dwelling ancestors learned to share resources rather than fight over them. But philanthropy was nonexistent in those savage times, so why did brutish creatures give to one another? Only because they expected something in return. Thus, an ironclad rule - I give, you take, you pay back - now defines our inherited reciprocity programming. Comments like "Much obliged," "I'm beholden to you," or, "Hey, I owe you, man!" reveal its effect.

Fund-raising organizations trigger reciprocity (and bigger donations) when token gifts - address labels, holiday seals, etc. - are included with mailings. So do supermarket workers who urge stir-fried sausages on weekend shoppers.

Strangely, reciprocity's power seems vastly unrecognized in business. Ask yourself about that promotion you counted on that went to someone else or an unexpected big loss to a competitor: What did you not do to create a payback obligation in the person making the decision?

2. Conformity. The conformity mechanism - mostly forged from early experience - constantly whispers that the best way to get along with others is to behave like them. It directs us to stand patiently in checkout lines, be quiet in libraries, dress appropriately for work, and act properly at formal dinners. Unsure about dismantling an artichoke? Just watch what others do. Miss Piggy offers general advice on etiquette: Never eat more than you can lift.

Bartenders salt their tip jars with dollar bills so patrons leave larger tips "like everyone else"; canned laughter on TV raises network ratings - "others are laughing; it must be funny"; a hospital learns several local clinics just ordered new scanners, so it wants one too.

Workers seldom object when conformity calculates pay raises: "Everybody's getting the same three percent increase." And in Detroit, carmakers benefit when low-to-marginal performers join work teams and start producing to higher group standards. Conformity's command is explicit: Be like others.

3. Commitment. Humans like to stay consistent with past behavior. Suppliers say, "Try us out for a month at no charge." After taking this first step, chances are that an unsure prospect will soon be a faithful customer. True commitment - to a goal, cause, even a dream - literally destroys obstacles, obliterates excuses, and guarantees attainment. However, it must be unreserved, open commitment. Stop-smoking programs demand that participants announce a targeted quit date to family and friends. Any reluctance to do so merely signals preparation for backsliding. Sales organizations like Mary Kay, Tupperware, and Amway have representatives stand and shout next month's goals at sales meetings. And members of Alcoholics Anonymous similarly commit themselves to sobriety by openly admitting their dangerous, life-long disease: "Hi. My name is Frank. I'm an alcoholic."

4. Respect for authority. Early on, parents, teachers and older siblings program us with automatic acquiescence to authority. Titles - doctor, dentist, attorney, judge, president, manager - trigger the mechanism in a wink. So do comments like, "That's the law," and "It's for the boss." Big ticket industrial buyers sincerely tell sellers, "Legal must review this first," to stall decisions.

Authority jumps from anything in writing: "It's right here in my notes"; printed matter commands even greater obedience - "Page four of the personnel manual explains it." And to really trip people's authority mechanisms, just make a sign: No Smoking - Keep Off the Grass Hotel Check-Out Time Noon - Stay Behind Yellow Line. Allen Funt of TV's "Candid Camera" once erected a crudely marked barrier on a road from New Jersey to Delaware. Motorists were told, "You can't go to Delaware today. It's closed." Nobody objected; one person asked how full New Jersey was.

5. Contrast. Lift a heavy weight, then one lighter, and the second will seem less heavy; travel 65 mph but suddenly slow to 15 mph for highway construction, and the vehicle seems almost motionless; enter a dark theater from bright sunlight and the effect is palpable. Put simply, our contrast programming magnifies the difference between two adjacent experiences.

Bad tidings are cushioned with contrast: "Accounting says slash prices 15 percent or we buy somewhere else. However, you've been one of our best suppliers, so just cut them six percent and I'll personally get an exception from our president." Contrast tells merchants to advertise "Was $1,545, now $945" rather than just "Save $600." Lawyers wave legal papers demanding millions in damages, then hint one million might be a fair settlement. And in bidding for a company worth $30 million, a $25 million offer would likely trigger a $35 million response.

Contrast even helped topple a president. Watergate's Gordon Liddy was flatly refused when he asked Nixon reelection committee officials for $1 million to fund campaign dirty tricks. But when Liddy later requested $250,000, the amount seemed trifling in comparison and subsequently financed the historic break-in.

6. Uncertainty. Anytime prehistoric ancestors felt uncertain, they imagined the worst possible outcome. This was natural, since the worst is usually exactly what they got. Faint night sounds outside dark caves instantly spelled danger - saber-toothed-tigers or worse. As a result, modern genes tell us to prepare for the cruelest consequence when uncertain.

Eroding labor union power is directly traceable to uncertainty. Prior to Ronald Reagan’s 1981 dismissal of air traffic controllers, management gave and unions got. But after the firings, newly emboldened companies leveraged uncertainty's influencing effect - "Soften the work rules or we'll be forced to ship production overseas." Imagining job (and membership) loss, unions began to give back. This "concessionary bargaining" was a historic turn in U.S. labor-management relations.

7. Scarcity. Scarcity saves us time and energy by automatically measuring value. Diamonds pepper South African beaches, but their price is kept high by controlled scarcity.

Scarcity decides verdicts. Studies show that jurors ordered to disregard testimony seldom do, and later consider the information even more relevant when determining guilt or innocence. And samplers tasting cookies from almost empty jars invariably rate them better than the same cookies from full jars.

In business, prospective scarcity - possible lost opportunity - sharpens supplier pencils when customers say, "We may have to bid this project." During interviews, job seekers told about other candidates invariably value an opening more; recruiters often improve offers after learning top-notch applicants have opportunities elsewhere.

8. Liking. Inescapably, we influence those who like us just as people we like influence us. Laws, company policies, fair employment practices, etc., may rule otherwise, but liked people are hired and promoted faster, more likely to dodge layoffs, win customers, and have numerous other advantages over -anyone less admired. But does liking happen by mere chance? Not at all. The mechanism is built on five solid footings:

Similarity - We automatically favor those with matching characteristics - same age, occupation, interests, education, experience, etc. In personnel matters, managers are warned to avoid the "halo effect," i.e., subconsciously favoring workers with similar traits.

Association - Our affiliations with people and things stamp us with their attributes - good or bad, guilty or innocent. Mother cautioned, "Stay away from them; you'll get a bad reputation." Lawyers describe "crime by association" with terms like accessory, collusion, and conspiracy.

In elections, candidates try to link opponents to an unpopular issue while associating themselves with popular ones. And just note your own reaction when a sparkling new acquaintance suddenly announces membership in NOW, the NRA or any other group that stirs controversy.

Familiarity - Anything familiar lifts odds of being liked. In Massachusetts, the Kennedy name draws votes. And each year, billions are spent on advertising for the express purpose of influencing consumer decisions by pressing familiarity deeper and deeper into cerebral folds: Crest-Crest-Crest - Pepsi-Pepsi-Pepsi.

Physical appearance - TV anchors don makeup before broadcasts; lawyers tell drug baron clients to dress conservatively and powder facial scars before court appearances. Indeed, the influencing effect of physical appearance is so important that countless millions are annually spent on cosmetics, hair restoration, weight loss centers, tanning salons, and painful surgical procedures.

Praise - Flattery will get you nowhere? Nonsense. Flattery will get you anywhere. Praise promotes liking because it's always positive. Most important, it rewards those we most admire: you and me.

We are surrounded with opportunities to praise others and thereby increase their regard for us. Those who avoid doing so deprive themselves of an exquisite gift - the ability to make others glow. All other components of liking may be in low supply or absent, but praise can always trigger respect and admiration. In organizations, its favorable effect on workers cannot be overstated. Question: When did you last compliment someone?

Conclusion

Fear based "managing by the numbers" or chronic appeals to "get production up" worked well from turn-of-the century sweatshop days into the eighties. No more. Numbers still help manage things, but an organization's investment in people earns the greatest return when leaders honor workers' inner drives. Start energizing these now (liking’s praise component is a great way to start) and notice how quickly you'll be able to let ever one have "Your Way "